An Akatsuki New Year
by Shashuko the Paisley Maiden
Summary: Sequel to Akatsuki Thanksgiving, Akstuki Christmas. Read em' first. ...It's New years at the Akatsuki base, and Deidara loses a bet! Rated T for Kisame's low alchohol tolerance.


hi guys. just a heads-up... there's a lot of drinking in this one. I don't like drinking, and I never have, and probably never will, but the Akatsuki are all either in their eraly twenties or just plain immature, so they all drink as of now.

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"Well..." Pein mumbled, "Here we are at the table, yet again."

"LET'S GET DRUNK!!!" Deidara cheered.

Hidan shrugged. "I'm just glad Hidako isn't here..."

Kakuzu, however, was worried. "Wasn't she going to come?"

Itachi nodded gravely, and both men sighed defeatedly.

Deidara snickered. "Haha un! Look, Sasori-danna, they got it _bad..._"

Sasori smirked. "Yes, Deidara, they do-- wait_. Whatever _happened to our bet?"

"Dammit, un," The pyromaniac mumbled. "I was hoping you'd forget..."

The S-Ranked puppeteer shook his head. "Silly Deidara. My memory, just like my art, is everlasting."

"We'll see how long you when I blow you up--" Deidara was interrupted by Sasori.

"---Deidara, just go put it on."

Deidara mumbled something X-Rated under his breath, and Sasori smiled back.

"Now," Saosri added, sweetly.

"I hate you, un," Deidara mumbled, walking out without asking to be excused (much to Konan's immediate anger).

Kakuzu stared after him as he left the dining room. "Sasori, what was this bet of yours?"

"Weeeeeelll," Sasori said, slowly for effect, "The person who lost at checkers against Itachi faster had to wear a certain one of Konan's halloween costumes."

"With my permission," Konan added.

Sasori nodded, then continued. "And, of course, the matching shoes that go with it. Although I'm not completely sure whichi one he's wearing..."

"Something tells me we'll need another copy of the surveillance tape from today..." Itachi noted. Kakuzu, Pein, and Kisame nodded solemly at this remark.

Five minutes later, Deidara walked back in wearing a short-skirted powder blue dress with an apron and a frilly headband. There were matching boots had blue hearts on them, and blue socks.

"I'm wearing it, un," Deidara muttered embarrasedly.

Everyone remained silent, but stared openly at Deidara. The first one to speak was Pein.

"Konan," he murmured, "Isn't that...?"

Konan nodded, then turned to smirk at Deidara.

"You forgot the wings," she called.

Hidan giggled. Kakuzu snorted. Suddenly, the entire room, including Deidara, was laughing. Excluding the person because of whom Deidara was wearing this costume, Sasori, who was staring at Deidara with wide eyes.

"C'mon Deidara, turn around so we can get a good look at you."

Deidara turn around really fast, making the skirt fly up, flashing the frilled shorts (read: bloomers) underneath.

Sasori's expression remained blank.

"Deidara... is that..."

Deidara grinned and nodded. "Aizawa Minto's cafe uniform from the manga 'Tokyo Mew Mew,' un. Konan wore it when she was still into that sort of thing."

"Konan likes shoujo manga?" Kisame asked, dumbfounded.

Konan smiled warmly. "Used to. Now I read Dragonball Z."

Everyone banged their faces onto the table simultaneously (lol faceplant!).

Itachi, who was, in reality merely a shadow clone of Itachi, disappeared in a puff of smoke.

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"Nooooooo!" said Sasuke. He was tied to a chair,

Hidako and Itachi grinned evilly. "Yesssssss..."

They both applied earmuffs to their ears and left, turning on the stereo.

"Noooooo!" Sasuke gasped. "It's Paris Hilton's first album!"

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Itachi entered the dining room, followed by Hidako, both more than slightly winded from running all the ways from Sound Village.

"Sorry we're late," Hidako said sheepishly, throwing a large battle-axe at Hidan, pinning him into a wall. "Why is Deidara in a maid dress?"

"Lost a bet," Deidara said, twirling around gain. "And it's a waitress uniform. _Heehee... _twirly skirt..."

"They're fun, aren't they?" Konan noted. "Twirly skirts, that is."

Hidako nodded. "But... if you twirl too fast, you flash everybody your underwear..."

"That's why I only wear them with shorts under neath or on dates," Konan remedied.

"Ooh, I need to write that down," Hidako chuckled.

Deidara, meanwhile, was in a world of his own. "Twirly skirt, twirly skirt, twirly skirt..."

"Twirly skirt indeed," Itachi said, smirking. "You should just get a skirt of your own."

"Hmmm..." Deidara said. "Maybe I should, un..."

Hidan laughed very loudly. "How drunk_ are_ you, Deidara?"

Deidara stuck out his tongue. "I haven't touched a drop! I'm not going to 'till Kisame passes out..."

Kisame, having consumed his twenty-seventh beer, passed out.

Deidar took a blackmail photo of Kisame with his eye scope. "Pass the booze!" he cheered. "My work here is done."

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Pein looked around him, sipping his Bud Lite quietly. He seemed to be the only perosn in the room who wasn't completely sloshed.

Kisame was unconcious on the table, singing 'The Sailor Song' in his sleep. Off-key.

Itachi was still awake, but he was staring into space with his mangekyou sharingan actvated, chanting, "Checkers-checkers-checkers-checkers-checkers," under his breath.

Hidan and Hidako were asleep hugging, each other (Deidara had taken blackmail photos of them) and they were both soaked entirely in booze from pissing off a drunken Kakuzu.

Deidara was sleeping on the lap of Sasori, who was snoring obscenely loudly, which annoyed Kakuzu, whose eyes were darting around the room frantically as he counted his etire treasury cent by cent.

Zetsu's black half had a higher tolerance for alchocol than his white half, so his black half was singing 'Mary Had A Little Lamb' while chewing raw mutton, while the white half was asleep.

Tobi was locked in the closet with Sasori's puppet Hiruko (which he feared with a passion stronger than a thousand suns), and was eerily quiet, so had probably passed out, or found the aging vodka in the closet and gotten so drunk he couldn't remember how to speak (Pein hoped it was the first one).

And Konan... where was Konan?

"Konan?" Pein said dully. "Where are---"

He was hit by a sudden splash of ice water.

"Sober now?" Konan asked blandly. "C'mon, help me wake the others. It's almost midnight."

Pein and Konan dumped water over everybody, wakig them up and sobering them up simultaneuously, then sat still in silence until the grandfather clock in the hall struck twelve.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" The entire roomed screamed. Howeverm they did not scream in time, so it sounded less like a 'Happy New Year' than a loud, slurred, 'hhpppnnnyrrrrr.'

The next thing said, however, was heard by all.

"EVERYBODY KISS KONAN!" Deidara screamed, and the poor blue-haired girl was hinted down by every member of Akatsuki, AND Hidako, and given a kiss on the cheek by all of them.

And it seemd that, for Konan at least, it was going to be a very happy new year indeed.

Lucky_ bitch._

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Heehee Konan torture... is too mcuh fun.

Thanks for bothering to read this, if you bothered to read this far.

I probably won't do another one of these until Groundhog Day, or Valentines' Day (unless of course anyone can think of another holiday before then).

'Till then, thanks for reading! I loves you all...


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